theme-sticky-logo-alt

Am I different? Accept that you’re a weirdo…

11 Comments

Ok, so after reading the post about The Dark Side of Geek Feminism and some follow ups, I had some things to say, I tried to have this thoughts as comments but… well, seems that they are better in my own blog :)

sexy cosplay
RPC 2012 Day 01 037 by mchenryarts

1.- I don’t consider myself a feminist because for me, just calling yourself from “any” group creates automatically that line that women are trying to dissolve. If you want people to consider yourself an equal, then you have to be an equal since the beginning.

2.- If you don’t care what men think about how you dress, then why do you care about what women think?… Me?, I don’t dress sexy, sometimes I wear pink, I take “nice” selfies but yet, people pay attention to what I say because in the minute they start looking at my boobs, I stop them asking if they came to talk about technology or to a dating service. If you don’t stop this and just let people “enjoy the view”, then you, as women (general message, to all of us) have nothing to complain about.

3.- If you want to criticize someone by the way they look, either because they look like a stripper or a Gothic vampire hunter, then you should look into the mirror first, maybe you are part of one of those groups that you dislike so much.

4.- A lot of women use their image (yes boobs) to get attention, same way a lot of men use their muscles (yes money) to get attention as well… This is never, ever gonna change because is human nature. This happens at tech, medical school, engineer, artist, blah blah blah… So get over it and focus your attention in things that are more important.

As soon as we realize that women aren’t that different than men when we refer to “how many things we are able/willing to do to attract attention to us”, as soon we will move on from this completely pointless arguments (from both sides). If you like to look sexy, why do you give a damn about what people have to say? if you like to dress like a dude at events or if you enjoy talking about how easy if to compile a kernel while you do your makeup… why do WE give a damn about what people has to say?

Now, who the hell am I? I’m a Latin American girl who likes computers and that yes, has been harassed not by words, but with more heavy stuff than the silly things you complain in here, but I’m not here to talk about “how awesome are my contributions” or “how hot am I” neither “how guys try to hit on me at Tech-events” – In a movement, community, job, school, $Whatever; this things simply doesn’t matter.

So for a second girls, why don’t we focus in the message we want to spread (as geeks and as women) and stop caring so much about how we look or what people think or act when they see how we look? Think about this next time you have to attend to a conference… spend more time looking and worrying about how your slides look instead waste time packing your suitcase with clothes you will wear.


Help tatica and donate with paypal!

Previous Post
5 cosas que todo diseñador debe saber
Next Post
FUDcon LATAM te espera este 23-24-25 de Agosto en Valencia!!!

11 Comments

  • 20 June, 2013 at 9:58
    iamtanmay

    Tactica thank you so much. I also feel the same way. Let others do what they want, be yourself.

    If you want to dress flashily, great. If you want to dress conservatively, great.

    Why do people have to be mean or whatever. If somebody harasses you, you should block them out. Your confidence and how you react is really all that counts.

    I never liked Nixie Pixie that much. But now, she has earned my respect.

    Reply
  • 28 September, 2012 at 13:36
    nix\

    Me parece muy buena la entrada. No se si se trata de nixie pixel o que, pero por el primer comment parece que si.
    En caso de que asi sea, solo tengo que decir que era notorio a kilometros que esa chica solo buscaba tipos en youtube, desde sus primeros videos, que ya los borro claro, la chica hablaba de forma lenta, pausada, como haciendo tiempo, mientras apretaba sus tetas contra la mesa y miraba la camara… y ponia like o gracias a los comentarios de “me gustan tus tetas”.
    Un dia le hice un comentario, que dejara de mostrar tanto y leyera mas si realmente queria enseñar, sabes que hizo?, me bloqueo la cuenta y borro el mensaje.

    Reply
  • 17 September, 2012 at 12:06

    Encontre este blog por pura casualidad y debo decir Genial! Si tu quieres ser sexy y geek porque no?

    Lo importante siempre es ser tu misma

    Reply
  • 3 August, 2012 at 10:19

    Hi folks,

    I, from the side of the man seen as the Geeks/Nerds harass women entering the world of technology. There are ways to stop these types of harassment in a “diplomatic”, without causing scandals. Typically, communities of “whatever” love to ride a “media show” just standing there and show them to watch.

    Reply
  • 3 August, 2012 at 8:07

    @mairin ohh no, definitely no (And I can tell you that is not nice to live in a country where it is your fault if you wear jeans and a guy tries to have sex with you on an elevator… it’s your fault as woman to look like that).

    Now, my point with all of this is that… yes, there are sexy girls in tech that are sexy wearing a penguin costume, and yet, we have to deal with this. You are the sum of your actions and intentions; but at the end, it’s human nature that we will have to listen to hurtful comments, either by jealous or angry people. In at least 60% of the world there are NO laws that help women like the ones that USA have.

    Now, I have to be honest with something: there is a difference between be a “user” and be a “public figure”. When you do videos, posts and simply raise your voice, you know that people will say something, just because you’re different (and sometimes, just because you’re a women). Call it defamation or harassment… it happens. Isn’t easier as public figure to look what happens around you and make a worldwide statement, taking advantage of the exposure that we have instead feel sorry for the comments that people say to us?

    You have done that with the Girl Scouts girl issue, I have done that many times with the customs block… I guess it’s time that as women, we look beyond our borders and laws and try to deal with this issue with a wide open view.

    And yet… might not be right… but I rather to have people making me see my mistakes, trying to change how society hurts everyone, than just remain quiet and not trying to change the world :P

    Reply
  • 3 August, 2012 at 7:54

    I think my point was more, yes, it sucks to be told unfair things, and it sucks to be surrounded by bikini babes when they have nothing to do with technology, but you can’t just ignore physical assault.

    Reply
  • 3 August, 2012 at 5:17

    @Mairin – Point is, how Nixie was treated is how A LOT of us (including me) are treated (and I wear jeans and tshirts) So is not a thing about how you dress, is how you react to this kind of things. Probably people is just looking to be on a side and this is NOT a post to attack Nixie or anyone, but it is a post to express that I believe that, if you want a change, you should bring it yourself.

    In 7 years I have face a lot of things at FOSS conferences, but yet, the only point I’m trying to do in here is that, if Nixie, you me and all girls want to be somehow, then DO IT… and don’t stop thinking on what men, women or anyone has to say. Debate is NOT about how ANYONE dress, is about how we react to critiques that we NOW are gonna come.

    Just to give you an example… how would you feel as a woman if you’re at your Fedora booth (like we have had so many times) but next to you there is a $WhateverBooth with a couple of girls on bikini “spreading FOSS flyers”? You know what? That happens A LOT in “Big and Paid Latin American Events” So what I say is not pride or anything, is a reallity that sometimes, people avoid only because live in a different side of the world.

    @Oliver only one single reason – Human nature. Indeed things are changing, but same way that took a lot so women were free to vote, or took a lot to accept people from a different color (and yet, it’s is still a fight) this kind of changes will take a while, a lot of struggle, a lot of debate…

    Reply
  • 3 August, 2012 at 0:05

    There’s definitely a difference between red lipstick + high heel shoes (perfectly fine office wear) and the skin-tight latex suits I’ve seen at Linux conferences in the past. If I showed up at a customer’s place of business in a skin-tight latex suit, I’d probably be escorted out – rightfully so.

    Reply
  • 2 August, 2012 at 22:42

    “Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups”

    People tend to assume a lot by how some one dress or looks, We are on a stage where it is no longer needed to go with a tie to a job interview (at least I haven’t felt that way), I don’t see why if a girl wants to use red lipstick, high hill shoes on OSCON is OK to assume that she is there to make a joke out of anything.

    Reply
  • 2 August, 2012 at 22:39

    “Assumptions is the mother of all mayor fuck ups”

    People tend to assume a lot by how some one dress or looks, We are on a stage where it is no longer needed to go with a tie to a job interview (at least I haven’t felt that way), I don’t see why if a girl wants to use red lipstick, high hill shoes on OSCON is OK to assume that she is there to make a joke out of anything.

    Reply
  • 2 August, 2012 at 22:19

    I think the issue is a bit more complex than that, and there’s a lot of very real human pain and suffering that you’re (I’m sure completely unintentionally) unfairly reducing to simple egotism and pride.

    I don’t think how Nixie Pixel was treated was fair. On the other hand, for some people, conferences that cost hundreds of dollars in attendance fees are part of their job and a professional context. When I want to get a job done, I don’t want to be distracted by sexysexysexy in my face. While I don’t think the outfits she wore at OScon that I saw photos of were controversial in any way, and her videos show a real aptitude for and skills in Linux and other technical subjects, that doesn’t mean that it’s okay to show up to a conference wearing whatever you want and expect that people will take you seriously.

    This is related to part of our concerns about ‘Spherical Cow.’ We work very hard on and are very passionate about Fedora, so when it seems like somebody wants to make it into one big joke, it hurts. I don’t want the open source community to be reduced to soft-core porn. And I’m not accusing Nixie Pixel of doing that; I’m pointing out that there is a potential extreme that I personally am uncomfortable with.

    I have also faced situations where I felt physically threatened. I don’t think shrugging it off and worrying about my slides is a very smart thing to do in those situations.

    Reply

Leave a Reply to iamtanmayCancel reply

15 49.0138 8.38624 1 0 4000 1 https://tatica.org/en 300 0